In-Between Moments

I tell myself, you just need some time to let things digest and emotions rest. I notice how the timing is perfect. How it works and flows. Yet I believe that to let — or make things happen, taking space is the rule. The idea of taking up space was something that for years I fought. I remember thinking about what it would feel like to be an artist, what would I do with all that time in my hands. Now, fresh out of the oven (college) I realize that 90% percent of the time it is just existing and dealing with life, the other 10% is where one feels unstoppable and tangible creation happens. Whatever is going on during that 90% leads up to that 10%.

I see the stain of my coffee mug in my notebook and meditate on how I don’t want to be rewarded for something I haven’t earned. A poetry mentor practically tattooed this thought in my psyche. Our dynamic consisted of writing early in the morning, around 7 am. She would read a poem slowly, and then she would read it again faster. Immediately after finishing it for the second time, I had fifteen minutes to write. Fast. Non-stop. My role was essentially to open up the channel and let my stream of consciousness take over. After the fifteen minutes ended, I would read it to her and almost every time she would say “It’s almost there, you just have to earn it.” This meant I had to do a lot of drafting and revising. Sometimes this took me a couple of days and sometimes ten weeks or more. Writing poems should be considered an extreme sport. But it is a beautiful process.

On those beginning weeks of training with her, I remember writing something, reading it, and then saying to myself: “ Oh no, you’ve gone dark again.” The truth is, there was a lot of stuff I had to get out before getting to what I wanted to really write about. Now, after purging everything that needed to get out to make way, I feel empty. I have an intense need to go out and have crazy experiences to have something to write about. Yet, I have decided to stay where I am and exist within the 90% and 10% in-between moment.

In the in-between moments, I believe we are most connected to our true self, power, truth, and essence. This is where we get to really absorb our life experiences as a whole. We get to ground, integrate, and prepare. Similar to the experience of a morning coffee and the amount of ritual we tend to put into it. Within all the change and movement life offers, the in-between moments and my morning coffee keep me honest.

photo: Fabiola Arias

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ARTIST. Movement / Writing

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Paulina León

Paulina León

ARTIST. Movement / Writing

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